A quick update about today. Today is a tiring day. Hahas have accompany hosy to see doctor with roselynn and mervyn driving us to polyclinic and to hosy house and back to TP. After that, wait for qing xuan they all finish their jap class and some of them.. their sch stuff. Then head opposite to eat KFC.. and head back sch and then went to dance. Dance Over with fifi, vannesa and tingke as usual, and prime joined us too :D It was fun hahas. and then danced ai-ing aishiteru twice and then head back home alone.

I dont know what happening to my laptop. Because nowadays it starts up, it been telling me to do backup because of the harddisk in laptop got some problem or what failure. And just now i did transfer important stuff and also use the chance to clear some stuff in my laptop.

And while i transferring my hand phone pictures to my hard disk. I suddenly saw those photos that I took over the past few months. I kinda of miss those times. I mean I miss the times like me and fifi being close to each other and she always stick around me and call me mama. Its like now she so distance, unlike the other times. Although i still can talk to her, but not as close as that time. And like with hosy, I took pictures with her always and its fun. And now she also kind of distance away from me?! And etc.

I know lifes there is always gain and loss. I loss the close friendship with them. And although I gain more friends like qing xuan, gracia, vanessa and many more now. But still I miss the times back then.

Well, its not a bad thing. Now, i often still see them being happy and stuff, I mean, yea even if i not close to them, as long as they are happy, everyone of my friends are happy and really enjoying life, I think i am contented.

Ahh. Hahas.. I am not being emo or sad now. More like wishes those times can come back. Yeah I know mostly the cause of the change and stuff are caused by my own hand. And I know it well. So yup, no one to blame. hahas.

All right I shall change to another topic.

I have a lot of friends around me. And I have lots of different kind of friends. And among my friends, I am those that a joker but not a well joker and always kid around and stuff. So hardly anyone take me seriously. And among my friends, I know and I saw friend that are always loved by everyone and protected by everyone, especially in JCG. Yes i am talking about JCG mostly hahas.

I really really wanna be that too. I mean, I dont know how JCG people feel about me or whether they like me or not and stuff. I just feel that I really really wish to be loved and protected by them to just like those friend that are protected and loved like tingke, our dear cute fangirl president and etc. I mean yea, I see them being loved and protected, I also love them and also wanna to protect them just like the rest. But whenever I see them being loved and protected shown in action, such as celebrating their birthday with surprises and stuff, I feel happy for them and also envious them. And also thinks, "Ahh.. I wish I could have these kind of stuff happen to me" Though I know, it couldnt happen. But I wish.. really wish..

Ok lets take for example, my game friends. We are a close friends of a clan. And on a day of my friend birthday, our clan blog dedicated and wish for her. I happy for her. And thought that yea.. I wish they did the same for me on my birthday.. And on my birthday, nothing came.. I went in the blog a lot of times to check, but nothing is there.. I was kind of sad?! But I was like its ok ZH.. these kind of thing does not really will happen to u.. So yeah, was sad but I was like its ok. Hahas. And when my clan master realised my birthday is over.. like a few weeks later. He was kind of angry that he didnt know my birthday was over and did not post a post for me. When I heard that, I was kind of happy. Hehe.

Ahh.. feel like crying. I have a tendency to feel like crying out whenever I saw something deep in my heart.

Yep.. I really wish to have those kind of stuff happen to me. I wish to be loved and protected by my JCG friends.. I wisssh.. Hontou...