3 days after my last post.....

On sat and sunday, I have tried to rest more cruz i find that my bone are just so irritating that i feel like breaking them...

And also the fact that my hearing is still the same makes me more depressed....

I need to rely on people to help me out but I dun want to burden people because of this stupid hearing of mine.

The feeling sucks.

I hate to become a burden....

That time in JCG Halloween also, I nearly want to just kill myself when the helpers come and help and yet because of some problems in arranging the plans, they end up just sitting there.

Because of the stupid me being a burden.

The feelings really can make me feel like hating myself.

Why did i have this kind of life where my hearing is like this, when I have no talent in doing anything, When i'm a burden to people more than useful, When I have a irritating father of mine, When I have my sucking and lazy character of me and When I always regret things after that.....

Now I am scare of presentation and NMT.... Presentation is cruz when teacher ask me question or something, i cant hear what he/she says and have to ask them to repeat and when other people is presenting, I do not know what going on. For example, MOS. There was this presentation on the video we make.... and when people is presenting, half the time, nope, all of the time, I wasnt able to hear what other people was saying at all...In the past, if people was presenting, and I hear them well, I can take in some information about what I have to say or so on, sort of like an example to me. But on that day, I wasnt able to hear and I know my presentation was shorter than anyone else. And the teacher only asked me one question. This makes me worry about my result.

For nmt, cruz the teacher asks us to read the notes that we have like what is the important point and so on. But because of my hearing, I cant hear what my classmates says. End up, I'm in a bad situation that I have to always look at what Carol highlighting without understanding.

Basically now my life sucks to core that I feel why did i even have this kind of fate.

Now and then even when the bunch of people I'm with now and then or in school or outside school or at home, I'm trying to be normal at all times...

Only when I'm alone, I feel like crying and bursting my anger. But I still stay silence.

Guess i'm getting old already. If time comes that I will die, I will only wonder if people will rmb me or not. Whether I have concious of being a spirit or not.

Seems that I am really sucks. I even give one of my friend a positive comment not long ago and here I am emoing in my blog and making more blog more emo...Which i have tried not to as i promised my friends....

Tmr or more like today.... I will going to have my NMT and my presentation on MMP. Guess what...

Life that I have continued makes my way in walking this life more harder and tougher

I need to hold on my life to the day that I can get to see her soon

19 more days

And I will want to tell her my feelings after a long time.

Even if i fear from her reject and unable to be friends with her again, I want to tell her.

Oh ya one last thing, I will be fine, so people who knows about my hearing, just bear with me if I cant hear you or dunno what u talking. And I will be my normal self today one....

So bye....